Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Tumblr?! or Blogspot?!

I like tumblr's themes. Although, their not as customizable as blogspot. But, I think I'm going to make a tumblr and abandon my blog. What should I do?!

beautiful song.

Maybe the lateness of the hour

Makes me seem bluer than I am

But in my heart there is a shower,

I hope she'll be happier with him.

Maybe the darkness of the hour

Makes me seem lonelier than I am,

But over the darkness I have no power,

Hope she'll be happier with him.

I can't believe that she don't want to see me,

We lived and loved with each other so long.

I never thought that she really would leave me,

But she's gone.

Maybe the lateness of the hour

Makes me seem bluer than I am,

But in my heart there is a shower,

Hope she'll be happier with him.

Bill Withers - Hope She'll Be Happier

He has such a sexy silky voice.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Saturday, July 25, 2009

i mean it.

People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve… I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either. I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong. Love looks good on me.
— Natalie Anne Erlanson

Friday, July 24, 2009

The male angler fish permanently attaches himself to the female and becomes absorbed by her body.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

this song on repeat.

bon iver - blood bank.
Well I met you at the blood bank
We were looking at the bags
Wondering if any of the colors
Matched any of the names we knew on the tags
You said "see look, that's yours!
Stacked on top with your brother's
See how the resemble one another
Even in their plastic little covers"

And I said I know it well

That secret that you know
But don't know how to tell
It fucks with your honor
And it teases your head
But you know that it's good girl
'cause it's running you with red

Then the snow started falling
We were stuck out in your car
You were rubbing both of my hands
Chewing on a candy bar

You said "ain't this just like the present
To be showing up like this"
AS a moon waned to crescent
We started to kiss

And I said I know it well
That secret that we know
That we don't know how to tell
I'm in love with your honor
I'm in love with your cheeks
What's that noise up the stairs babe?
Is that Christmas morning creaks?

And I said I know it well
I know it well ...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Hey, did you hear about my mistakes?
I never thought you'd see me looking down
Even though I made a mess of everything you made for me
All along you were there
Waiting like you said you always would
Yeah, you said you always would

We don't have to wait for anything at all now that I've learned
This fool will never learn a thing
And I can't believe that you would send your love to me now
Even though I don't deserve it

Forgive me, but I can't be everything you deserve
And I know it's too late to crawl back to you tonight
But there's a few things that I just need you to know
Like the way I felt when we were close
And how the stars explode every time you are near

But all along you were there
Waiting like you said you always would
Yeah, you said you always would

I am so far, I couldn't see
But you made every day so sweet
All along you were there
Waiting by my side

Yeah, you love me even though I don't deserve it
You love me even though I don't deserve it

hahahaha. ouch.

Models Falling: A Painful Picture-by-Picture Play


For some reason, people love to see models falling. So Modelinia, your source for all model-y things, published this painful-looking picture-by-picture play of the likes of Naomi Campbell, Jessica Stam, and Karen Elson taking some not-so-graceful spills on the runway. Models: They're just like us! They fall and get right back up! More pics after the break, and for the full picture slideshow, check out Modelinia.com.

Above: A model nosedive at Gharani Strok's spring '06 show.


Above: Milana Bogolepova taking a spill at the 2008 Dior Cruise Collection.


Above: Monika Jagaciak was just one of three models who fell victim to the tricky shoes at Hervé Léger's fall '09 show.


Above: Elise Crombez face flat at the Proenza Schouler spring '07 show.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A friend found this on livejournal on some band gossip thing.


anyone know anything on these girls?

I know Rachel used to date the drummer of Houston Calls until he cheated on her with her ex roommate/friend.

and Stacy has a thing with Peter who tour manages The Maine.



(via: http://community.livejournal.com/fueled_bygossip/145348.html)

I stumbled across Blood Bank by Bon Iver and it definitely just made me cry. Beautiful song.

Monday, July 20, 2009

realllllyyyy want this.

Originally Posted By hamandheroin

flowersandart: iheartmyart: hamandheroin:  Cloud is a sofa concept designed by D.K. Wei for ultra comfort and relaxation. The soft floating upper part is supported by the magnetic force generated by the bottom base. No matter if you want to work and sit with comfort or simply a power nap to release the stress, you can always enjoy your time to relax on the floating cloud.           source      Oh. My. God.   This is the beginning of a revolution in napping. I just had a good one. I was cold, but it was still good.  Need this.

flowersandart: iheartmyart: hamandheroin:

Cloud is a sofa concept designed by D.K. Wei for ultra comfort and relaxation. The soft floating upper part is supported by the magnetic force generated by the bottom base. No matter if you want to work and sit with comfort or simply a power nap to release the stress, you can always enjoy your time to relax on the floating cloud.

urban dictionary.

I looked my name up.

1. rachel

The most edible female name
Rachel is sooo edible - especially with cream

2. rachel
Hebrew name meaning 'an ewe', or 'little lamb'. Symbolizes purity.
Rachel is the best name ever!

3. Rachel
A smart, sassy and sexy young woman who knows things from fashion to film to literature, from Manolo Blahniks to Mahatma Gandhi.
She impressed everybody in the meeting. She's such a Rachel.

4. Rachel

1. She's the girl that everyone is jealous of...sexy, fun, smart, outgoing, and easy to talk to. She has a heart of gold and although she might seem bulletproof, she's caring and sensitive on the inside.

2. A girl who isn't afraid to speak her mind or be herself. Watch out boys, she's a heart-breaker. A girl who won't settle for anything but the best, but rightfully so. She doesn't need a man to have a good time.

3. She's the friend you call at 2am when you need someone to tell you that everything's going to be ok. Sweet, comforting, and a great listener.

1. Did you see that chick's hot bod? I'm so jealous. She's such a Rachel.

2. Damn, I wish I was still with Rachel. She looks like she's having such a good time without me.

3. She was so sweet to me when I needed a friend...such a Rachel.
5. Rachel

rachel's are usually cute and pretty. have a good body and are smart. they also tend to be popular and silly and like to fool around.
damn that girl is hot she's probably a rachel.

6. Rachel
I need a Rachel to cry on.

hahaha I meeannnn, sure.

'She’s my best friend. She’s my person. And you’re not allowed to hurt her. I’ll fix what you break, but I won’t do it silently.'


by Amber

in Features, Inspiration

Here’s a list of things you can do that don’t involve spending a lot of money – to relax, entertain or simply change tack away from the couch:

1. Instead of storing them, cut up your old magazines and create inspiration notebooks to refer to. I find this process incredibly relaxing, from destroying the magazine spines (kneel on the ad tug) to snipping out bouffant hairdos.

2. Indulge in a single scoop of the most decadent flavoured gelato. My local has incredible flavours like Ferrero Rocher, Red Bull and Forrest Fruits.

3. Pick up brochures from your local information centre/historical society that give you self guided routes. Follow the walks to learn about your ‘hood!

4. Reorganise your CD/record/book/DVD collection with an alternate approach. Genre, year, alphabetical, spine colour. It’s time to get OCD.

5. Meditate. Focus on breath work first if you are having a hard time quelling your mind.

6. Set challenges for yourself. Abstain from alcohol, coffee, sex or chocolate for a month. Whatever your vice, keep away and you will be entertained no end. At the end you may even feel better. Too hard? How about a challenge to win $1000 worth of prizes in a month. Keep, swap, sell!

7. Attend art gallery openings. They are always good for filling those Monday and Tuesday evenings, and there’s almost always wine. Mm, wine culture!

8. Bands always need people in their music videos aka “a crowd of raging fans”. Go along and adopt a band, it’s always really really fun to rock out of control (even if they’re bad).

9. Feed ducks at your local pond. This is especially rewarding in spring when there’s ducklings and cygnets, aw.

10. Swim in the ocean. Or the lake! Try a variety of weathers – swimming in the sea when it’s raining is one of my favourite things ever.


11. Go camping for a single night in your nearest regional/national park. You get fresh air, a change of scenery and a mini hassle free adventure.

12. Become an origami expert - there’s lots of good videos on YouTube. A friend of mine is a champ at making tiny piglets!

13. Go thrift shopping, limiting yourself to $10 or less. What can you get? Something weird, classy, cool or for your best friend (I always buy old man cardigans for my bffs).

14. Make stupid videos - I spent serious time making this video as part of going away card. You can do better, rise to the level of internet meme… hours of fun!

15. Geek out and become the kind of person who can name plants and tell you all about their secret lives. Every time people see my tattoos they shoot me botany questions, so I am starting to gather a little knowledge on hydrangeas. Why yes, that is a Hydrangea macrophylla! (Boys who can name plants are incredibly sexy by the way. Swoon. Combine that skill with a picnic in a garden and I’m yours.)

16. On that note, organise a picnic with friends. Each of you is to bring one plate of treats, someone is to bring a blanket and voila! A modern feast.

17. Listen to the entire body of work by one musician/band. Form an opinion. Share that opinion. No idea? Start with Bob Dylan.

18. Likewise, read the entire body of an author’s work. Borrow these (potentially stacks) of books from the library. No idea? Start with Joyce Carol Oates.

19. Start a blog. I heart Wordpress and there’s a free hosted version available. Vent, rant, discuss, share what you’re thinking in that cute lil head of yours… and tell me when you’ve done so!

20. Scan old photographs and reminisce. Even better, do it with a friend. You can talk abut times that were, or the times that explain why you are who you are today. Fun.

21. Pub quizzes are grand. Drink a beer, squabble with your friends and learn some new facts. If you go every week your accumulated bar tabs will start covering the entire team’s drinks! Good for those empty Mondays and Tuesdays.

22. Acquire language tapes and learn a new tongue. I like putting Plimsleur lessons on my iPod and brushing up on my Japanese while running.

23. Make play-dough. I’m serious. Get back to your childhood and whip up a batch of dough (recipe here) and use food colouring to dye it wild hues. Sculpt and carve away your frustrations!

24. Plan that trip. Get into the nitty gritty of itineraries and budgets. Research: how much for that Cuban visa? How much for a meaty snack on the Trans-Siberian railway? What’s a good local coffee shop to visit in Glasgow?

25. DIY some fashion. Dainty tights, studded ballet flats and mini top-hats to decorate thy head. Learn to knit if you can’t already!

26. Write letters to all your nearest and dearest letting them know some of the reasons why you appreciate them… “I love you because you are not afraid to be silly and dance like a maniac with me, we share a Japanese obsession and I can always encourage you to do shots.” Post them.

27. Craft haiku. Modern ones, innit. I’ve written haiku about Trent Reznor’s hair, the emotional toll of public buses and the smell of the sea when you’re in love.

28. Head to your nearest mega-chain-book store like Borders - the modern library. Sit down somewhere paw at all the latest editions of foreign magazines, lap up the latest sci-fi fiction or read some manga. Then leave, without paying a cent. Muahaha! Sometimes if I’m feeling saucy I take my pile of reading material to the cafe and splash out on a ridiculously named coffee.

29. Gig guides and event listings are your friends! You should be able to find a free event to attend every night of the week. Go forth and discover new venues, music styles and subcultures. Raves, Romanian folk or clubs laid out like rabbit warrens – explore them all!

30. Live near the country? See if there is somewhere you can pick your own fruit and vegetables, or head to your local urban farmers market. Then take your seasonal produce and get in touch with your domestic side. For example, if you could get cheap fruit, there’s a world of preserves and jams to explore. Failing that, grab a bottle of vodka – there is always litres of cocktails to be made!

Domestic efforts

Sunday, July 19, 2009

ingrid michaelson.

I will live my life as a lobsterman's wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,
And close to my heart he'll always stay.

I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and
Nelly and Faye.
While I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
On our island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.

When he walks right pass me then I finally see on this bar stool I can't stay.
So I'm taking my frown to a far distant town
On an island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

I want to go far away.
Away away, I want to go far away, away, away
I want to go far away, far away.

Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another life, to another life.
To another shore line
In another life.

25 date ideas.

  1. Pretend you’ve never met, then loudly try out lame pickup lines in a swanky bar. Act like they worked.
  2. Go on a walking journey and every fifteen feet draw a chalk arrow in the direction you’re going. At the end of the trip, leave a big pile of chalk.
  3. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen
  4. Go for a drive. You can only make right-hand turns. When you finally get stuck, turn around and then you can only make left-hand turns. Repeat until you find something interesting. Take pictures along the way!
  5. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.
  6. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books
  7. Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.
  8. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
  9. Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!
  10. Hide and seek in the park
  11. Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things
  12. Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.
  13. Go for a drive with the passenger blindfolded, choosing directions at random. See where you end up
  14. Dress up as pirates, commandeer shopping carts, and have a war upon the high seas.. er, parking lot.
  15. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence
  16. Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.
  17. Dress up as pirates and go parrot shopping at local pet stores.
  18. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.
  19. Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras.
  20. In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.
  21. Dress up as superheros and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”
  22. Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jack.
  23. With camera and pair of boots, make photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.
  24. Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn
  25. Go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.
(via howtofightloneliness)


“While love is common, true love is rare, and I believe that few people are fortunate enough to experience it. The roads of regular love are well traveled and their markers are well understood by many—the mesmerizing attraction, the ideational obsession, the sexual afterglow, the profound self-sacrifice, and the desire to combine DNA. But true love takes its own course through uncharted territory. It knows no fences, has no barriers or boundaries. It’s difficult to define, eludes modern measurement, and seems scientifically woolly. But I know true love exists. I just can’t prove it.”

David Buss, psychologist, University of Texas, Austin; author of The Evolution of Desire

The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2006

(via myonlyappeal)


What gives, what helps
The Intuition
I'll know, I'll know
(Oh) I won't have to be shown
The way home
And it's not about a boy
Although, although

They can lead you
Hide or reveal too

A destination known
Only by the one
Whose fate is overgrown
Piecemeal could break your home
And have
A love is not complete
With only heat

They can tease you
Break or complete you

And in came a heatwave
A merciful save
You choose, you chose
Poetry over prose

A map is more unreal
(Oh) Than where you've been
Or how you feel
And it's impossible to tell
How important something was
And what you might have missed out on
And how it might have changed it all

Did I, did I
Did I, did I
Did I, did I

Miss out on you


The average person spends 12 weeks a year 'looking for things'.

(via hazelweatherfield)

I definitely believe that considering at least five times a night I'm convinced I've lost something.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

“There is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one’s own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels for someone, for someone, pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echos.”
— Milan Kundera

Friday, July 17, 2009

“ Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first real kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises. Love is not a fairytale. Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night, because you can’t go to sleep mad at each other. It’s about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because you care so deeply for them. It’s not about buying them gifts, but it’s about leaving them little presents here and there, just to remind them that you are constantly thinking about them. Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things. Love is rare and special, but should not be treated as if it will break. Love needs to be thrown around and beat up a little bit, worn in, but not worn down. Love needs to be a comfortable feeling, a place to go when no one else in the world can relate. A safe place, where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, you will still be loved. ”
— Kate (via runawaytrain) (via marjchun)
I want to go on a boat. Maybe not today, the weather looks shitty. But, soon -- really soon.

post-it love.

But now we must pick up every piece of the life we used to love. Just to keep ourselves
at least enough to carry on.

neutral milk hotel - in the aeroplane over the sea.

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me

Anna's ghost all around
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
How the notes all bend and reach above the trees

Now how I remember you
How I would push my fingers through
Your mouth to make those muscles move
That made your voice so smooth and sweet
And now we keep where we don't know
All secrets sleep in winter clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he don't even know his name

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
And when we meet on a cloud
I'll be laughing out loud
I'll be laughing with everyone I see
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all
And this is the room
One afternoon I knew I could love you
And from above you how I sank into your soul
Into that secret place where no one dares to go.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Brand New - Millstone

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray like God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed.
Now I've made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Throw me that lifeline,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

"They never hit their brakes..."
"There was no time to see..."
"He just ran out in the street..."
"Does anybody know his name?"
"I think I recognize him..."
"He sure as hell paid for that mistake..."


So take me out tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck.
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Well save my life tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink
A millstone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

It's just like being alone.

What I've been listening to lately:
  • Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes EP
  • Heatmiser - Mic City Sons
  • Metric - Fantasies
  • Modest Mouse - The Moon & Antarctica
  • Shivaree - Who's Got Trouble?
  • Death Cab For Cutie - We Have The Facts And We're Voting Yes
  • Owl City - Maybe I'm Dreaming
  • Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea

I need to make a list of things I need to accomplish today because I fear I may freak out if I just sit inside of my apartment. I work tomorrow morning at 5a.m. for ArtFair. Great sales going on though, I'm such a sucker for some deals. Let's be honest though those five dollar clothing/items add up. Clothing doesn't get me as bad as 'things' do, I'm a collector of things. I have way too many things. My new apartment is beautiful though, I'll be honest. Very well decorated ;).

To do today!:
  • Make a playlist
  • Clean out car
  • Check train tickets to Chicago to see Sutor
  • Clean room
  • Check out ArtFair?
  • Feed myself
  • Goto bed at an early hour

BTW, I saw Harry Potter 6 last night at midnight when it came out with my friend Sarah. I read that first four books, didn't read this one, BAWLED my eyes out when Dumbledoore died. Like, really?! Dumbledoore?! Dear lord.

P.S. REAL sorry if you aren't a book reader and just watched the movies and I just ruined it for you. I just needed to rant, and you should have went and saw it last night any way.

I wish I was Kurt Halsey Frederickson's muse.

So, after discovering the necklace, I came across a few other Kurt Halsey things I absolutely would love to add to my ever growing collection.

Magnets. I want these so badly.

Tote bag? Yep.

Collectors edition package full of Kurt Halsey things?! Gimme.

Art Star Gallery (solo) Philadelphia, PA. September 19th- November 1st, 2009. -- I really want to go to this. Preferably on opening day because there's a good chance he's going to be there. I went once to Art Star Gallery to go see him, and it was exhilarating/nerve racking. I don't get exhilarated too easily!

I love Kurt Halsey.

He is selling a necklace through artstar gallery. Are you kidding?! What a wonderfully romantic gift. I went to go check out his website and stumbled across this -- my heart did a little pitter patter. It's obviously out of stock at the current moment. Every time I look at it, it makes me smile.
Look at you, like a new tattoo. Because I might not always have you but I’ll have the feeling of you for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Love by Pablo Neruda
(via) (quote-book: kari-shma)
Because of you, in gardens of blossoming
Flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer
Remember your hands; how did your lips
Feel on mine?

Because of you, I love the white statues
Drowsing in the parks, the white statues that
Have neither voice nor sight.

I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice;
I have forgotten your eyes.

Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to
My vague memory of you. I live with pain
That is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
Make to me an irreperable harm.

Your caresses enfold me, like climbing
Vines on melancholy walls.

I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to
Glimpse you in every window.

Because of you, the heady perfumes of
Summer pain me; because of you, I again
Seek out the signs that precipitate desires:
Shooting stars, falling objects.
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
— Jim Morrison

Monday, July 13, 2009

Radiohead - Thinking About You

Been thinking about you
Your record's a hit
Your eyes are on my wall
Your teeth are over there
But I'm still no one
And you're my star
What do you care?

Been thinking about you
And there's no rest
Should I still love you
Still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself
What do you care?
When the other men are far far better

All the things you've got
All the things you need
Who bought you cigarettes
Who bribed the company to come and see you honey?

I've been thinking about you
So how can you sleep
These people aren't your friends
They're paid to kiss your feet
They don't know what I know
And why should you care
When I'm not there

Been thinking about you
And there's no rest
Should I still love you
Still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself
What do you care?
When I'm not there.

All the things you've got
That you'll never need
All the things you've got
I've bled and I'd bleed to please you
... honey

Been thinking about you..

Daniel Johnston - True Love Will Find You In The End

True love will find you in the end
You'll find out just who was your friend
Don’t be sad, I know you will,
But don’t give up until
True love finds you in the end.

This is a promise with a catch
Only if you're looking will it find you
‘Cause true love is searching too
But how can it recognize you
Unless you step out into the light?
But don’t give up until
True love finds you in the end.

Elliott Smith - Happiness

Activity's killing the actor
And a cop's standing out in the road turning traffic away
There was nothing she could do until after
When his body'd been buried below
Way back in the day
Oh my, nothing else could've been done
He made his life a lie
So he might never have to know anyone
Made his life the lie you know
I told him he shouldn't upset her
And that he'd only be making it worse
Involving somebody else
But I knew that he'd never forget her
While her memory worked in reverse
To keep her safe from herself
And, oh my, nothing else could've been done
She made her life a lie
So she might never have to know anyone
Made her life the lie you know
What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness for you and me
What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness for you and me
What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness for you and me

Pete Yorn.

"Bandstand In The Sky"

So come with me
To a place that we don't know
Come with me
I just wanna say "hello"
If you need some inspiration before we go
Just know
It's the way I have fallen in with you....
It's the way I have fallen in with you

So come with me
To a river I have seen
On the way
We can wash off in the stream
Time is waiting for the lightning to arrive
You can take my life
But I'll never die
You can tell
That's the way I'll survive

So here we are now
A couple of fools
Driving around here
With nothing to do
We just made a bad decision
That's alright

You can take my life
But I'll never die
You can tell
That's the way I'll survive

Heading for
The bandstand in the sky

Sunday, July 12, 2009


Stranger with green eyes,

I don’t know your name … or anything about your personal life. All I know is when you held the door open for me the other day, I saw pain in your eyes. It broke my heart.

I hope whatever hurt you gets fixed, no one deserves that kind of pain.

Good luck,
Stranger in red coat

Lock me in a room, and please don't let the world in.


Have you ever watched the things you know unravel directly in front of you? Slowly at first, but then more rapidly as you neared the end? There’s no reason for this feeling, everything is okay(!) but I’ve got a tight feeling in my stomach to match the way I’m keeping my jaw clenched. I’ve got the hangover blues, just- you know- not in a drunk sort of way. I’ve felt this way for weeks, running my fingers all over the walls and floors like I was trying to decipher some sort of foreign code invented solely for me.

How do you just start all over when there’s nothing but fake materials leftover from your former life? I’m not good at any of this, I never have been. I realize this with a sharp sort of frequency that scares even me.

I still dream of running away literally all the time, all the while knowing that my fingerprints would be the quickest thing to sell me out and down the river. Do you feel that sense of unease as well? Like you could pack up and leave, and it’d only be a matter of hours before they were dragging you back into the city by your ankles?

I’m completely uncaged, I guess is what I’m trying to say.

And god(!), these are the oldest of all words in my mouth. I’m living the same life from years ago, just at a different level of saturation. Deja vu, or deja vecu- both fit the feeling. And I’ve been fighting it for longer than I can even remember, my hands curled into tight and incomprehensible fists.

Once, I told you I thought my heart was overwhelming all the odds- like it was too big even for me. Are you catching the fact that I’m becoming less subtle as the days pass? I find myself abstaining from things simply for the reason that I don’t have the energy to smile anymore. I don’t have the energy to waste that on you.

My heart’s so big it feels like it’s going to break out of my chest. And I mean that (again) literally. I’m giving up the cute metaphors where I mention how I just love, love, love. I’m trying to tell you that I’ve made myself feel physically ill from all of this increasing pressure. Do you get it? Like somehow, alongside the shift of the seasons, I’ve managed to become less than the sum of all my parts.

Do you know how that feels? I’m not so sure that anyone else does, really.
Lonely and alone are two completely different things. Forgive me for not charting out the differences: I’ve never been one to break things down mathematically. It’s always been the colors and feelings that mean the most to me.

I know. I know that you’re the saddest creature that ever walked this planet. But don’t you think the person who’s been striding in your shadow is feeling that sadness too? Just a little?

So maybe it was all of those words that made things hazy again. Maybe all the things I want you to know are lost on communication. Maybe what I want to say can’t be transfered with mere language.

I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut.

Once again, silence wins the game.
And forever has already been set in motion.

(-what’s mine is yrs)

Rock and Roll House in Encinitas, CA.

Richard Margolin said Friday that he moved into the lap-sided, white bungalow at 125 A St. 6 1/2 years ago, and at the time had never done anything artistic.

That soon changed as Margolin, little by little, converted the exterior of the building, fences and patios into radiant collages, sparkling with mirrors, marbles, beads and images of rock heroes.

Positioned among the purple-painted siding are sculptures of Margolin's creation, which also celebrate the rockers he holds dear.

All of it is for sale from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. today and Sunday.

"Hopefully the art is beautiful and hopefully the spirits and memories of all these rock 'n' roll greats are living here," he said.

Margolin must vacate the house by April 25. His home and the nearby collection of cottages that house the 101 Artists' Colony are slated for demolition in June to make way for condominiums and offices.

"I've seen people come by here and just be blown away by this place," said Parker Donaldson, a neighbor and graphic artist. "I'm really sad to see it go."

Margolin said groups from senior citizen, drug rehabilitation and hospice care homes have visited the house.

"It uplifts the suffering and makes them happier," he said.

Many of the treasures Margolin turns into art came from the dump. A painted wheelbarrow contains plants and is decorated with faces from the Allman Brothers Band.

A purple-painted basketball hoop with a broken, gold-painted guitar at its base memorializes Jimi Hendrix.

An image of Hendrix also appears on The Kickwheel, a windmill with images of rock artists "who have kicked" -- or died -- attached to its blades. John Lee Hooker, Buddy Holly, Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley and Marvin Gaye are among them.

Stepping Stones bears the faces of members of The Rolling Stones.

Little Richard peers from the seat of a gold-painted chair that is shaped like a human hand.

Margolin copied the images from CD covers. He enlarged and laminated them before attaching them to his creations.

Even though the house will be demolished soon, Luis Quiroz of Encinitas dabbed pink paint onto marbles glued to a purple fence.

"Richard is the designer," Quiroz said. "He does the design and I help him."

Margolin said the only help he has received with the ever-evolving project has come from homeless people.

He said he has spent thousands of dollars to create and maintain the artwork and has invested untold hours that he could have spent running his tree service.

"I can't believe that the city is letting this go," said Joan Sebastian, an Encinitas artist who visited the house Friday. "It's part of what's great about Encinitas."

man who created it.


Dear Greggie,

You beautiful boy, I was just thinking of you by accident. I was reading and I stumbled upon pages of E.E. Cummings' poetry, little notes I'd made to myself with stanzas I loved, and one reminded me of you (since you've been gone). Since I know that the punctuation kills you, I will put it as though it were a paragraph, and probably poetry lovers will shriek, but probably, conversely, I won't care.

"Your homecoming will be my homecoming. My selves go with you; only I remain: a shadow phantom effigy (or seeming), an almost someone who's no one -- a no one who, till their and your returning, spends the forever of his loneliness dreaming their eyes have opened to your morning, feeling their stars have risen through your skies."

I read that and went to write to you, so I sat here at my computer and I thought, "Maybe he's home." Knock on wood, dear boy, but the universe likes to keep you close when I want you close. So when I am at my limit and you are supposed to be far gone, sometimes you come back, and when I think of you sometimes it's as though I've summoned you out of thin air. And look -- there you are. Welcome home, my odd little cookie, my singular love.

Love, Me.
"What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet. No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason. Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded."

- Robert F. Kennedy

via letterstolovers.

I look for you in the bars of every beautiful song and find traces of you in the ever turning world that thought it best to leave you and I behind. I guess I have to accept that I'll think of you always and dream of you like a distant summer twilight that seems too good to have ever been true.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


I got an A in my residential design class I took this past spring semester! I came in two weeks late, and worked my ass off. My professor said I had a hardworking attitude, and remarkable progress. Both of those things are very nice to hear from him considering he was the first professor I had when I started the interior design program.


Happy summer.


3:06 PM
'then you it should be smooth sailing from here on. it's nice to have someone who can balance you out that way. you are loud and obnoxious and smoke and drink entirely too much. you're insane and a brat, I mean 4 years later and you're still a pain in the ass haha but you're so cute and upbeat and have such nice things to say. you have the most beautiful outlook on life and what it means to live it. people can't help but love you or simply hate on it. really you're a beautiful person. I regret us not staying closer. I'm not tryin to come off as dramatic it's just really nice to know that people appreciate who you are'

Sunday, July 5, 2009


"You know what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It’s like no matter what you did, it wasn’t enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn’t seem to work. And you’re suddenly left thinking that you’ll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves."
-- JoAnne Golden

"The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person’s soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack."
-- Keith Miller

"If someone will sit with you at midnight and correct your grammatical errors while sending you messages that keep you awake - marry them, love them, never let them go."
-- Got Wisdom?

"The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we’ll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy."
-- Richard Bach