Thursday, June 25, 2009

When you understand, that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.

— Chuck Palahniuk

More and more, it feels like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.

— Chuck Palahniuk

People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were too scared of being alone.

— Chuck Palahniuk

this website is wonderful (, i especially love the stories behind the photos.

He was told this by a former girlfriend, who was encouraging him to slow down and enjoy life a little more.

She was told this when she was 21 and newly married, following what she described as a routine medical checkup. Happily, despite what her doctor had said, she later had those two cracking little boys, who are great fun and a real credit to her.
"Many people need desperately to receive this message: ‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone."
— Kurt Vonnegut

believe it.

I want this.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

capricorn. whadddup.

You may not be able to tell it from her actions, but for a Capricorn woman, love is a very serious matter. She is the least likely of all signs to fall in love at first sight. If a man is not her type, she quickly discards him. When she does find one she is interested in, she will observe him closely before allowing him to get emotionally close to her. If you hope to woo her, be prepared for it to take some time. She is looking for a man who will admire and treasure her, yet not make her give up her own life and goals. She is shy and reserved, but filled with common sense and strong inner strength. Her hesitancy to commit and domineering ways often find her unlucky in love, which is a shame. When a man can understand and respect her, he will find she is filled with wonderful values. She is loyal, trustworthy, passionate, and supportive.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


"I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love, and I’ll return to a person I love. So, that’s the dream I’m working on."
— Amber Morely
Forget about your lists and do what you can because that's all you can do. Phone up the people you miss and tell them you love them. Hug those close to you as hard as you can. Because you are always only a drunk driver's stupidity, a nervous shopkeeper's mistake, a doctor's best attempts and an old age away from forever.

i wrote this for you.)
"Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future."
- Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
It's scary sometimes, what if we used all of our romantic love on past loves?

Camera Obscura - French Navy.

Spent a week in a dusty library
Waiting for some words to jump at me
We met by a trick of fate
French navy my sailor mate
We met by the moon on a silvery lake
You came my way
Said, I want you to stay

You, with your dietary restriction
Said you loved me with a lot of conviction
I was waiting to be struck by lightning
Waiting for somebody exciting
Like you
Oh, the thing that you do
You make me go, ooooo
With the things that you do (you do, you do)

I wanted to control it
But love, I couldn't hold it
I wanted to control it
But love, I couldn't hold it

I'll be criticized for lending out my art
I was criticized for letting you break my heart
Why would I stand for disappointed looks
Fully grown but I'm all on tender hooks

Oooo, with the looks
On tender hooks,
Oooo, with the looks, the looks, the looks

I wanted to control it
But love, I couldn't hold it
I wanted to control it
But love, I couldn't hold it

Relationships were something I used to do
Convince me they are better for me and you
We met by a trick of fate
French navy, my sailor

I wanted to control it
But love, I couldn't hold it
I wanted to control it
But love, I couldn't hold it.


Thank you Pandora for bringing the following to my attention.

  • Electric President
  • Chad Vengaalen - Skelliconnection
  • The Western States Motel
  • Pete Torn - Bandstand In The Sky
  • Sufjan Stevens - You Are The Rake
  • Death Cab For Cutie - Marching Bands Of Manhattan
  • Sufjan Stevens - To Be Alone With You
  • Charlemagne - Scars
  • Stars - Romantic Comedy
  • Rilo Kiley - Wires And Waves
  • Leona Naess - He's Gone
  • Graig Markel - Cascadia
  • Cloud Cult - May Your Hearts Stay Strong
  • Whitley - The Submarine

Check those out, you won't be sorry.

Oh, relationships.

It breaks my heart beyond belief to see any of my friends unhappy or hurting. Especially when the hurting is being caused by the last person who is supposed to. I know that advice is much easier to give, than to actually use and put into practice.

You are responsible for your own happiness. You are a completely wonderful person, and whomever you decide to give your heart to -- should forever be grateful for it. You're worth a phone call. You're worth the time, YOU ARE THAT IMPORTANT. The person you are with should respect and love you enough to make you feel completely wonderful. If they can't give you that which you deserve, there IS someone out there who will. PLEASE, never settle for less than you deserve. Never settle. Realize that if you are not happy, something is not right -- it's not okay. Don't be afraid of failure. Yes, you worked hard to get where you are, you worked hard for this person to be in your life, you've done so much together -- things don't always end up panning out the way we planned, it's okay to let go. Any situation that you find yourself in, you are responsible for it, you are capable of fixing it, improving upon it, taking steps to make YOURSELF happy. Life is too short to be anything but happy. You're deserve happiness.

I need to move out of my apartment, and into my new one. I'm just soooo lazy! I'm really excited to decorate our new place although I'm really going to miss this apartment. Also, SO EXCITED for this semester to end.
I'm in Los Angeles today...
It smells like an airport runway.
Jet fuel stenches in the cabin
And lights flickering at random.

I'm in Los Angeles today...
Garbage cans comprise the medians of freeways always creaping
Even when the population's sleeping.

And I can't see why you'd want to live here.

I'm in Los Angeles today...
Asked a gas station employee if he ever had trouble breathing
And he said "It varies from season to season, kid."

It's where our best are on display...
Motion picture actors' houses
Maps are never ever current
So save your film and $15.

And I can't see why you'd want to live here.
Billboards reach past the tallest buildings,
"We are not perfect - but we sure try."
As UV rays "degraded" our youth with time.

The vessel keeps pumping us through this zentropic place
In the belly of the beast that is Californ-i-a,
I drank from a faucet and I kept my receipts
For when the weigh me on my way out
(Here nothing is free).
The greyhounds keep coming
Dumping locusts into the street
Until the gutters overflow
And Los Angeles thinks,
"I might explode someday soon."

It's a lovely summer's day
And I can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.
(Is this the city of Angeles or demons?)
Here the names are what remain...
Stars encapsulate the gold lame
And they need constant cleaning for when the tourists begin salivating.

You can't swim in a town this shallow - you will most assuredly drown tomorrow.

Why'd You Want To Live Here - Death Cab For Cutie

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"He misses you? Good. He should. You’re sexy, pretty, fun, outgoing and fun to be around. Guys that haven’t met you yet, miss you. But don’t get back together with him, because somewhere out there, there is a guy searching really hard for you. He’s the one who deserves someone as amazing as you, so wait for him. Give yourself to him and don’t go back to the asshole who didn’t realize what he had when you were with him."
He’s Just Not That Into You

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

in love with this.

"You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken."

-- Anais Nin

"It doesn’t matter who you love or how you love. If you are not in love or loving somebody, you are only half alive. Why do I love him? Because he is a thief, the first day I met him he stole my heart. Why, then, do I hate myself? Because I left my heart vulnerable, when the past has told me time and time again not to. Forgive the tears, they are only bits of selfishness that could be contained no longer. I only wish to keep you a little longer. Within the boundaries of my immediate life. Thank you for touching my life. And letting me know you. And love you. Too many of us stay walled because we are afraid to care too much, for fear the other person does not care as much or not at all. We don’t love qualities, we love a person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as their qualities"
— Jacques Maritain