Saturday, February 28, 2009

did you know, the first time you were in my sights?

i miss orlando already. i fully celebrated spring break with some wonderful ladies. <3 renewed old friendship, and created a few possible life long friendships. i could spend an entire day in a hammock. now, i'm covered in snow. currently, i'm relaxing at kaylyn's parents house way out in zee country, barn, trees, and all that jazz.

i have to move away from michigan, i fear that if i stay another winter i just will not survive.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

deeeeep breaths. better place now, better place now, better place now. happier. not being cheated on anymore. happpppier place now. stronger than ever, no weak people holding me down. happier place now.

matching tattoos? idiots. fucking idiots. you always wanted a matching tattoo with someone right? idiot. regret what you did everyday right? right.

why do i even care? fuck.

orlando is amazing. i don't want to leave. i love the weather, the bars, the people, the WEATHER. i've had such a great time. i needed a vacation. there is so much free beer at bars here i don't even get how they make money. i've found an orlando version of the elbow room and i'm pretty stoked on it. i hit up disney for the sake of the little girl inside of me who never got to go. universal tomorrow, and boating friday before i depart for my cold fucking state.

i went to a palm reader today. she let me know i'm going to find my soul mate (if i haven't already) within the next two years. get married around 26. i don't know about being married at 26 but, i suppose if i found my soul mate? haha. she also said i've got a long life ahead of me, i'm moving next year, and i'll only be married once.

it get's better. hold out for it.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

bright eyes.

I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

It was so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
It was so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight...

got through my two midterms, the stress, and a project. NOW! time for packing, driving to heidi's, off to the airport and florida/sayble bound i go. get me out of here, cannot wait. kate, see you there. <3. sunshine, see you there -- i've missed you.

bye michigan, i can't say that i'll miss you.

p.s. i can't be sure if anyone actually reads this but! if you do -- should i chop my hair off in a bob? i've been reallly contemplating it. <3

Monday, February 16, 2009

as tall as lions.

Dear, I fear that we've gone wrong
You've always hung me from the gallows
Well I don't feel I'll be forgiven

If you don't see it
you can never walk away
If you don't feel it
it's going ot get harder everyday
But you don't want love
keeping you awake at night
'till you can sleep

Dear I feel that you've settled
You've always pushed me in the shadow
Well I don't feel you'll be forgiven

When you wake up alone
do you love me still?
Do you question the choice you made?
Do you wake up at all?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

the weakerthans.

How I don't know how to sing. I can barely play this thing. But you never seem to mind, and you tell me to fuck off when I need somebody to. How you make me laugh so hard. How whole years refuse to stay where we told them to, bad dog, locked up whining in a word, or a misplaced souvenier. How the past chews on your shoes, and these memories lick my ear.

I know you might roll your eyes at this, but I'm so glad that you exist.

How we waste our precious time marching in the picket lines that surround those striking hearts. How the time is never now, and we know who we should love, but we're never certain how.

I know you might roll your eyes at this, but I'm so glad that you exist.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

lied even while you held my hand.

one year ago my life was so much different. i firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, possibly because -- what other choice do we have to believe in? but, i was so comfortable with my life a year ago. i can't be sure if i was happier. i just, didn't feel so alone i guess.

but! inevitably we are alone right? the person we truly have in this world is ourselves. it's terrifying. what's more terrifying, maybe, is actually realizing this.

wish i was in any of these locations now:

Friday, February 6, 2009

sometimes it's hard.


the minute romance.

sometimes when you’re walking down the street, you make eye contact with someone else and there is a moment of clarity when you make an intimate connection. you feel it and you know they feel it, too, even though there is no exchange of words. you continue walking and never see them again. but that moment, that look… that was everything.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


the line up thus far..

Monday, February 2, 2009

wallcoverings & carpet.

ohh interior design classes.

so when your bones are broke and you're all alone
and the fog's so thick you can't see up close
just know that I will end up strangled, too
and when the floods, they come all rushing in
and the boat is full and you can't get in
oh, it's okay if you don't want to swim
and when you're swallowed up, oh, don't you cry
just give right in, don't try to fight
'cause baby I wouldn't pay no mind
there's nothing you can do.

they'll have you coughing up your colors
they'll have you coughing up your colors
they'll have you coughing up your colors
they'll have you coughing up your colors

she sang the blues
out of time and out of tune
spoke no silver spoon, only simple truths
she was a friend, stabbed backs and broke plans
she would give you her coat or put nails through her hand
she was wise, full of magic and life
oh, you could see it in her eyes
oh, yeah I saw it in her eyes
she was more than this
yeah, way more than this
she was everything
she was all of this..

coughing colors - tilly and the wall.